The Working Mama

My Chrismukah: Joyous and Complicated

2011-11-30T15:49:00.001-05:00

Christmas is just around corner. And so is Hanukkah. Thismeans that in our household, my husband and I, our four year-old Princess and22 month old girl, Blue Eyes, will celebrate with lighting the menorah, latkesand jelly-filled donuts one night (or eight), and receive a few presents fromhis family (mainly because of me), and on Christmas Eve, together with myparents and a few aunts and uncles, we will celebrate with a feast, tons ofpresents and Christmas carols late through the night till Christmas morning.And I will wonder, is this the last year that my Princess will enjoy everyritual, every celebration and get-together without asking the hard questions?

Christmas is my favourite holiday. And Christmas time hasbecome even more special ever since I’ve had children. Last year, Princess, whowas over three at the time, helped me decorate the tree for the first time.There were quite a few broken ball ornaments but it was still fun. (Note toself: Buy shatterproof ornaments this year). Recently, Princess, without myprompting, asked me when we could start decorating the tree together. This mademe all warm and fuzzy all over and pretty excited more than ever to put out thetree early. However, we haven’t really talked about why there is a tree. I mayhave pointed out the baby Jesus in my mom’s nativity set, but she doesn’t yetrealize the significance. I bought her a Children’s Bible. Is that a goodstart?

Last year, my Princess also lighted the menorah by herselffor the first time. This was a special moment for me but more so for my husbandand an absolute thrill for my in-laws, her Saba and Safta. This year, I want Daddyand I to tell her the story of the Maccabees. The challenge will be to tell astory that she can comprehend.

My daughter goes to Sunday Hebrew school, albeit with asecular curriculum. Will she one day ask if it’s ok to have a Christmas tree?

We are not just a mixed or intercultural family; we are an “inter-faith”family. Filipino and Israeli; Roman Catholic and Jewish. Neither my husband ormyself are particularly religious but we celebrate our holidays. There are noissues now but can we expect a few down the road? Do we need to label ourchildren? Jewish? I didn't convert so technically, she's not. Half-Jewish? Humanist? How about just a “good human being”?Does it have to be complicated?

My Jewish friend who is married to an Italian Catholic said,“My children are “spiritual”, less specific.” He says his family celebrates Christmas and Hanukkah in unison.

The questions will come.But for now, I think I’ll enjoy the tree decorating, menorah lighting, cookiebaking, and the purity of my children’s happiness and enjoyment of the simplethings.

Are you part of an interfaith family? What kinds of choices did you make?

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This post is also a Today's Parent submission to their blogging challenge. I hope they also like the following:

Daycare or nanny? Daycare or nanny? Daycare or...

2011-01-15T20:15:00.000-05:00

Like most new moms, my husband and I debated whether to place my child in daycare or hire a nanny once I returned to work (when Naomi turned a year). We didn’t really start thinking about it until Naomi was about six months. We considered the pros and cons of both options, and eventually, decided to put Naomi in daycare.
Immediately after making the decision, we visited many, many daycares, and interviewed their staff until we found one that met our expectations.

For the first four months after I returned to work, Naomi was part-time at daycare, and part-time with my mother-in-law. We were lucky that we had family who wasn’t working and was willing to take care of Naomi (in fact, she volunteered!). Today, at 17 months, Naomi is in a daycare full-time, well cared for and enjoying herself.

Frankly, choosing daycare over having a nanny wasn’t all that difficult for us. Yes, we did think seriously about each option, but it was more difficult finding and deciding on which daycare to out our child in was the hard part. The following were my lists of pros and cons, which we considered during the nanny/daycare decision process.

NANNY (PROS):

Dedicated one-on-one attention
No need to wake baby up at an ungodly hour every morning
No rushing to drop-off baby
No rushing to pick up baby (and get stressed in traffic). Did you know that daycare fines for being late are $1.00 a minute?!
Baby is in a comfortable and familiar environment from the beginning. Less transitioning needed.
Extra help with caring for baby (ahhh.... maybe we can eat dinner in peace)
Visions of a super tidy house and dinner waiting came to mind. (Of course there's no guarantee nanny will do all that.)

NANNY (CONS):

Potentially quite expensive (“potentially” because the fees of certain daycares are shockingly expensive too)
Would require us finishing the basement of our home (sounds like a lot of money and work but we were prepared for this option)
Not enough social interaction - this is a really big deal to me
No stimulating activities (Maybe Nanny will be boring and Naomi will end up watching T.V. all day.)
Nanny could be serial killer (I get really paranoid when it comes to my child!)
But seriously, how do I know if the nanny is hurting or being mean to my child?? I don’t want to have to put nanny cams everywhere. And do I really want to live like that where I can’t trust my caregiver? This was a drawback I couldn’t get over.

DAYCARE (CONS)

Well, opposite of all of the above pros for the Nanny option. Also:
People tell me kids in daycare get sick more often (unfortunately, for the first 2 months, this was true)
Potential neglect due to lack of staff (The daycare we eventually decided on bragged about always having extra staff. And you know what, it seemed Naomi got extra attention on the days she needed it.)

DAYCARE (PROS)

Lots of fun activities including circle time with songs and reading, arts and crafts (yes, they do it for infants), indoor and outdoor play, and various other programs
Will learn to be more independent and become comfortable with another caregiver other than mommy (At the time, I really, really hoped this would be true.☺)
Social interaction with other kids. It drives me crazy when people tell me that young children (under two or three) don’t need to interact with other children. Okay, so a child may turn out “ok” being alone at home but believe me, children do benefit from playing and being around other kids their own age! It would take another blog post for me to list all the benefits (maybe another time) but don’t take my word for it—do your research.

Naomi has learned from other children by trying to imitate what they do. It has motivated her for example, to try and stand/walk sooner rather than later. I do know that Naomi loves being around other children. I’m sure this could be partly genetic (being a social creature) but it’s also because in her first year, I took her to my mommy and baby get-togethers, classes, arranged frequent playdates, and I just always tried to find opportunities to have her be around other kids.

Hence, my fear was that if I left Naomi with a nanny, she would miss the social interaction, perhaps get used to it, and become one of those kids that get overwhelmed when around other children. As well, I wanted her to benefit from children’s activities in the same way she did when I took her to music and play classes.

But my biggest fear is not knowing how my child is truly being treated by the nanny. Until my child can speak and tell me what goes on, I will never be comfortable leaving her alone with one person who is not family. And this is the same reason, we decided against home daycare. I’ve heard too many horror stories of overcrowding and children being abused in private homes.

I know there are good nannies; I know there are good home daycares. In the end, it’s really what you’re comfortable with, and you do what you believe is best for your child.

What about that list of disadvantages for daycare?

Well… it is a bit hectic in the mornings. But Isak (my husband) has flexible hours so he doesn’t have to be at work by 9am sharp. Not even 10am, actually.
Naomi is not woken up at an ungodly hour— she wakes us up earlier than we would like ☺.
Yes, transitioning week was hell. I cried. But we all got through it.
I don’t have to kill myself trying to make it home by 6pm because mom-in-law picks up Naomi between 4 and 5pm (HUGE help).

And what about visions of a super-tidy house? Well, that still remains just a vision.

All's Well that Ends Well

2010-04-13T21:30:00.000-04:00

Sarah is normal and doesn't need a brace, or any contraption or adjustment for that matter. WOW. Isn't that just the best news ever!

The day came when we had to go to Sick Kids Hospital so Sarah could get an ultrasound (her second; the first being at Branson Hospital), and to get her fitted for... something-- a brace or harness, we weren't sure yet.

Multiple line-ups and several waiting rooms later, the specialist came to see her. He examined her and gave us the verdict. Based on the test results and their scoring system (which wasn't explained but what else is new), she is "just normal". I may have even heard "borderline normal". But who cares? Normal means no torture device on her. It means life can go on and I don't have to worry about her hip development.

Now, because hip dysplasia runs in my husband's family, we will have to go back and get Sarah checked when she turns six months.

This sudden and unexpected good news is almost miraculous from my perspective. I didn't even know there was going to be a second and more conclusive opinion from THE specialist. So happy!

It's a big deal because she's mine

2010-03-28T22:21:00.000-04:00

I hate hospitals. Any type of medical clinic, actually. And I hate waiting. On the Friday when we had to take Sarah for her ultrasound, I packed water, reading material, and everything that else that I thought would help me endure a long waiting period. Because from my experience, hospital appointments and long waits are pretty much synonymous. Well, on that Friday, there must have been a glitch in the universe because Isak, Sarah, and I were in and out in less than an hour! Yeap, from the time we got to the parking lot, registered, waited, got called to the ultrasound room, to the time we had the procedure done, and back out. Under an hour. Unreal. If we could get that lucky, it must be a sign of good news to come.

Unfortunately, the doctor (when we finally saw him again) gave us the bad news that Sarah does have a dislocated hip. We don't know much. But we were told that she's not in pain. She'll have to be fitted for an orthopedic brace that will keep her thighs and hips in a position to fix the problem. There will be no long-term problems because the defect was caught before she turned one year old.

I am crushed by this news. I am sick with worry. I haven't done much research online (yet) because I know I will find more stories about complications than success stories. It's just how it is.

Isak consoles me. He tells me it's not that bad. It's not a heart problem. It's not a permanent defect. It's not a big deal.

Not a big deal?! It's a HUGE deal. Doctors never tell you everything. And we don't exactly know the extent of the dislocation. How do we know the brace will work? Will there really be no long-term problem? It's no cancer but it's not 'nothing'. And sometimes 'nothing' turns into something. It's a big deal because she's MY baby and life should be perfect.

SIGH...

So, now, we wait again. We are waiting for a call from Sick Kids Hospital so Sarah can get her brace, and hopefully, more clarity into the situation, more answers.

A Princess Tea Party for My Princess

2010-03-25T23:47:00.009-04:00

When I discovered that the Town of Richmond Hill was holding a "Princess Tea Party" event for children, I knew I had to take Naomi. If you had a girly-girl who loves dressing up, wouldn't you, especially after seeing this?

(click to enlarge)

I think it's there should be more community family-friendly events like this one. Apparently, the Town held the first Princess Tea Party last year, and it was such a hit that they decided to hold it again this year. Well, of course it's popular. It's reasonably priced excellent entertainment for your little ones, and it's good for toddlers too as the event lasts only an hour.

The lady on the phone from whom I purchased the tickets told me to encourage my daughter to dress up. And good thing she did! It almost didn't occur to me and although I would have put her in nice but fairly casual clothes. I bought Naomi a really pretty dress that had a full skirt-- a real special occasion outfit. Oh, boy, did she ever get excited when I showed it to her on the day of the party.

Overall, I thought the event was good. It started with "tea". Tea sandwiches (not that great but oh, well). Ham and cheese, jam, tuna (?!)... Cookies of course (tasted of the boxed kind). Juice (too sweet). And caffeinated tea for the adults. Well, only the adults would eat the sandwiches, so there.

The tables were set in various pink colours. There were shiny paper crowns and stickers. Really lovely. Very inviting. Balloons and good decorations in the room.

Shortly after tea, Princess Ariel, Snow White and Cinderella made their grand entrance. Each one sang a song and interacted with the audience. Then, they came around to speak to the little girls. This was your chance to have photos taken with them.

Then came the autograph session. LOL! The little ones lined up to get a piece of colouring sheet and them have these signed by each of the princesses who sat at a table.

After autographs, it was time for the final photo opportunity. Little ones lined up once again to get their pictures taken with all three princesses under a decorated arch.

All throughout, many of the little girls (mine was one of the first ones) ran around, danced, and just had a grand time. And there you have it, a memorable princess tea party.

Painfully waiting, waiting...

2010-03-19T23:42:00.002-04:00

"She may have a dislocated hip..." That's what the pediatrician said about my 7 week old baby girl. "May have"... Hearing those words is sometimes worse than knowing for sure, isn't it? I want to know for a fact. I want reasons, concrete why's and how's. I want to be sure.

Because the doctor is not certain, my baby has to undergo an ultrasound, and we wait to get that appointment. Then we wait to have those results sent to the doctor. Then, we count the days (four, apparently) till we can call the doctor to see him so he can tell us the good or bad news. Much waiting. Much anxiety.

My pregnancy was about waiting, and constant anxiety. Stressful, especially during the last few weeks.

"There's a chance your baby could have Down syndrome." Huh. Well, I needed to know. So we opted to get the amnio done.

"It will take 6 weeks to get the results." Aaaaarrrgh!

"Well, you can pay $175 to get partial (but definitive) results in two days." It was either pay up or be totally distracted and unable to focus for six weeks. My husband and I paid. We received good news after two days.

Then, "You have low PAPP-A," they said. They got this from the same IPS test? Damn test.

It could mean nothing, they said. Okay... And I wait for the "but".

"But low PAPP-A has been associated with a poorly functioning placenta... and baby is unable to get its nutrients...We need to do... (more acronyms that refer to more tests)."

There could be worse things. But the experience is taxing just the same.
Test, after test, after test. Waiting in hospitals. Waiting for results. Hoping, praying.

"Everything seems fine... but let's send you for (more tests) just in case." I can't bear it. Just tell me!!!

Wait for the next test. They never found anything wrong with my placenta, or with the baby. But till the very end, it was a case of endless uncertainty about Baby's condition.

"It's time to check out. We need to induce you."

"No." I wanted to go into spontaneous labour.

"Well, baby did not grow enough. It's possible your baby is fine." Here comes the 'but'. I could feel it.

"But you could have a dead baby." There it was.

The doctor explained that there was a lot they didn't know about low-PAPP-A. What they do know is that the condition has been associated with babies dying suddenly and unexpectedly in the womb as well as still-births.

The day before I was to be induced, I was subjected to a non-stress test (which is really, quite stressful, in my opinion).

"Hmmm... I'm not happy with the tracing," the doctor on call says. "We'll need to keep you overnight. We'll have to (more stressful non-stress testing) and then we'll wait and see..."

NO! NO! NO! No more waiting, and seeing-- please!!!

I stayed overnight in the hospital where I was monitored continuously.

Baby Sarah was born a perfect, healthy baby the next day. You can see my announcement and a picture of her a few blog posts back.

But now, just as I was getting used to a relatively normal, medical-test free life, I am once again, waiting, hoping. Her hip clicked, the doctor thought. But it could be nothing. And there could be worse things. We'll have to wait and see.

Nursing Room Ickiness

2010-03-05T20:36:00.003-05:00

The other day, I was at Toys R Us in Richmond Hill and needed to use the nursing room. So in I went and nursed Sarah but OMG, the whole time, I was afraid to touch anything.

The room was dark, cramped and dirty. There were no visible dust bunnies on the floor, the toilet was relatively clean... but you could tell... and feel that the room was filthy. The walls were stained, smears of something here and there; picture frames were smudged, the sink was well, I was afraid to look. The cushions on the one and only rocking chair had brown stains everywhere. What killed me was that this chair had a broken arm, the broken piece left on the floor. And the broken part of the chair had splinters sticking out of the broken arm rest just waiting to hurt some poor nursing mom (like myself) if she wasn't careful.

After a few minutes, I rushed out of there, prematurely ending poor baby's feeding session. Sure enough, several minutes later, Sarah cried for milk, and this time, I found the area where the rocking chairs were displayed, plopped myself down on a chair and nursed-- comfortably. Much better. I was hoping a staff member would come up and inform me that there was a nursing room just so I could complain but no one said anything and that was just fine. I think I'll be writing a letter to "customer service" or someone sometime.

I haven't been to any other ToysRUs nursing rooms but I sure hope those are not like what I visited.

Today, I was at the Hillcrest Mall. I didn't need to nurse but went into the "Nursing Lounge" to check it out. Bright lights, very clean; three clean stain-free, solid chairs (in perfect condition). And the changing table is not one on which you'd be afraid to change your child.

Yorkdale Mall apparently has lovely nursing rooms, and more than one! I've heard good things about the nursing rooms in Vaughn Mills as well though I've never been in them. If I'm in a mall, I just tend to find a quiet area to breastfeed.

Here's a blog where people have posted information on nursing rooms in different states and provinces. Great resource. http://nursingrooms.wordpress.com/

If you know of a good or bad nursing room, tell me about it.

He shoots! He scores! GOLD!!!

2010-02-28T20:57:00.000-05:00

Oh, my, goodness! What a nail biting game. And we almost lost it! Good effort by U.S.A. That tying goal stunned Canada. The Vancouver Sun's headline reads "Sidney Crosby saves Canada from nervous breakdown". So true. Thank you, Crosby. Thank you, boys. We won GOLD! Now I can breathe.

Go, Canada!

2010-02-26T20:51:00.001-05:00

I'm still relishing the win by Canada's Women's Hockey Team. Third consecutive Olympic Gold! Now, it's the men's turn. Bring home the gold, boys!

Newborn's Ten Commandments to Parents

2010-02-08T19:27:00.001-05:00

Another one from my midwives. I do not know its original author but I love this one!

I come to you as a small, immature being with my own style and personality. I am yours for only a short time; enjoy me.

1. Please take time to find out who I am, how I differ from you and how much I can bring to you.

2. Please feed me when I am hungry. I never knew hunger when I was inside you and clocks and time mean little to me.

3. Please hold, cuddle, kiss, touch, stroke and sing to me. I was always held closely inside of you and was never alone before.

4. Please don’t be disappointed when I am not the perfect baby that you expected, nor disappointed with yourselves that you are not the perfect parents.

5. Please try not to expect too much from me as your newborn baby, or too much from yourselves as parents. Give us both six weeks as a birthday present – six weeks for me to grow, develop, mature and become more stable and predictable, and six weeks for you to rest and relax and allow your body to get back to normal.

6. Please forgive me if I cry a lot. Bear with me and in a short time, as I mature I will spend less and less time crying – and more time socializing.

7. Please watch me carefully and I can tell you those things which soothe, console and please me. I am not a tyrant who was sent to make your life miserable, but the only way I can tell you that I am not happy is with my crying.

8. Please remember that I am resilient and can withstand the many natural mistakes you will make with me. As long as you make them with love, you cannot ruin me.

9. Please take care of yourself and eat a balanced diet, rest and exercise so that when we are together, you have the health and strength to take care of me.

10. Please take care of your relationship with each other, for what good is family bonding if there is not a family to bond?

Although I may have turned your life upside down, please realize that things will be back to normal before you know it.

Thank you,
Your Loving Child

Rules for Postpartum Guests

2010-02-08T19:15:00.004-05:00

I got the following list from my midwives during my pregnancy. I find these quite humorous, probably because I have heard stories from friends (new parents) of appalling behaviour by their postpartum guests. One new dad told me that his in-laws insisted on waking up their newborn every time they came to visit so that they could hold him!

Below, I include the introductory note by the midwives that accompanies the list. Enjoy, and pass these on to your expecting mommy friends or better yet, to their friends and relatives (or yours if YOU are expecting)! :-)

A NOTE TO POSTPARTUM GUESTS FROM THE MIDWIVES
Since this mother and newborn are spending their first few precious days at home together instead of in the hospital, there are no hospital rules to prevent excessive or inappropriate visits. We outline here, some fairly common sense "rules" for postpartum guests. Though we present them with good humour, please take them seriously. Help to make this postpartum recovery as smooth as possible.

DOs

DO call before you come by, and arrange to visit at a time convenient for the parents. Evenings, which may be more convenient for you, are usually the worst time for parents.

DO keep our visits short. 15-20 minutes is good.

DO bring food offerings. Suppers particularly come in handy. You may bring frozen dishes or plan in advance to serve an entire supper.

DO praise the new parents about their growing parenting skills.

DO offer your opinion when it is asked for.

DO offer to wash some dishes, to take home some laundry, to run the vacuum.

DO offer to look after older siblings.

DO respect the parent's need to do their own things their own way in their own time.

DO listen raptly to the birth story.

DON'Ts

DON'T bring the whole family and settle in for the afternoon.

DON'T accept offers of tea unless you make it and clean up afterward.

DON'T tell the parents that you hate the baby's name.

DON'T smoke.
DON'T give unsolicited advice.

DON'T expect the new mother to leave the room to nurse her baby.

DON'T ask to hold the baby. Wait for an offer.

DON'T visit if you are feeling even a tiny bit under the weather.

From: The Midwives of York Region

A Blessing for the New Year

2010-01-28T12:15:00.001-05:00

What kind of blogger am I, what with no Christmas or Holiday greetings, or a "Happy New Year" post? Tsk! Tsk!

Well, I have an excuse. A good one. I've been a busy Expecting Mama. I was also still working at my job till the start of the holidays, and had tons of medical appointments to attend (even one on Christmas Eve!).

Okay, well, what about during the holidays? Hmmm... okay, maybe I still don't have a good enough excuse for not posting anything. But today, I'd like to share the wonderful gift my family has received:

Welcome, Sarah Vernik!

Born Jan 15 on a Friday afternoon at 2:40 PM. 7 lbs, 6 ounces.

Mom, Dad, big Sister Naomi are ecstatic and doing great.

Truly, what a great blessing for the New Year. Happy 2010, everyone. I hope the new year has started out well for all of you. Let's all hope for and expect the best for ourselves and our families.

A Quote About Mothers

2009-11-03T15:46:00.000-05:00

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore de Balzac

Halloween 2009

2009-11-01T15:41:00.004-05:00

I took Naomi trick or treating for the first time on Saturday. She had a blast! She loved going up to get the candy but would freeze and wouldn't say "Trick or Treat!" But once back on the street, she'd say it. "Twick or Tweet, Twick or Tweet". Too cute.

It was my first time, too. I grew up in the Philippines where this time was really more of a religious holiday to remember the dead. I've been in Toronto for a few years but came when I was a teenager so I never did go trick or treating. We've spent a few Halloweens giving out candy to the kids but have never dressed up for it.

Once home, Naomi wanted to go through her loot of course. We chose to open a couple of bags of chips, and Daddy made sure to eat most of it. And when I had the opportunity, I hid the bag of candy and distracted her with toys and crackers. Too young to be having all that candy. I shall be taking the loot to work and giving em all away.

On Friday, Naomi dressed up as a fairy at her daycare Halloween party. Oh, I hope they have pictures of her! They took the kids "trick-or-treating" indoors from room to room and gave them little loot bags.

How did you and/or your little ones spend Halloween? Do you let them keep/eat all the candy afterwards?

My Messy Purse

2009-10-29T13:19:00.001-04:00

I decided to clean out my purse the other day, which seemed to be bulging unnecessarily. Plus, I couldn't find my keys. As I started to take out stuff from my purse, I was a bit amused (though not so surprised) to find some items that were not supposed to be in there.

First of all, the bottom of my purse was covered in a bit of pinkish dust. It was press powder that leaked from the press powder compact, the contents of which were all broken up inside. How did that happen? No idea. I don't remember dropping the compact. But I do know that my two year old loves playing with my purse-- taking out its contents, fiddling around with this and that, then putting all the stuff back in. I do have to check after she's played with it that everything is indeed back where it belongs. Perhaps I missed what happened to the press powder.

Now, back to the unusual items. Although, if you've been a mom longer than I have, I suppose you wouldn't consider these items "unusual".

Two of Naomi's "special occasion" hair clips
A small black scrunchie of mine which was covered in the press powder so it really wasn't black anymore
A couple of Disney children's band-aids
Receipts (not so unusual but my, I've been to Baby Gap way too many times...)
$25 Gymbucks (If this needs explaining, I guess you haven't shopped at Gymboree)
A miniature Russian nesting doll that I'm pretty sure I told Naomi NOT to take when she was at her great-grandmother's
A folded sheet of stickers
A broken crayon
*One* cheerio

Also, I'm not sure why I have a million pieces of paper with scribbled names and phone numbers when I do have a PDA.

Then of course, there's the wallet. I sometime refer to it as the George Costanza wallet (remember that Seinfeld episode?). Hmmm... lots of old receipts to throw and among other things, an unused pass to Kinderzone. Expired. Darn.

My car keys weren't in my purse but I did find them.

What's in your purse?

About Mothers: Quote of the Day

2009-10-28T10:15:00.005-04:00

Mothers hold their children hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Anonymous

I stumbled upon this quote the other day. It's beautiful. I tried searching but I don't believe the author is known. There are many inspiring quotes about mothers. What is your favourite?

H1N1 Flu Vaccine: What's Your Take?

2009-10-01T14:55:00.005-04:00

The fall season is upon us which for many of us moms, also means the return of the flu season. And of course, everyone (well, almost everyone) is starting to be worried sick about their children potentially getting sick with the H1N1 flu virus (or swine flu). A couple of my mommy friends have asked me "I'm thinking of vaccinating my child against the swine flu? What do you think" I cringe when I hear this because I personally believe that this vaccine is potentially dangerous. But such health matters are a personal decision and you, as a parent, need to be comfortable about your decision. I've said the same about standard immunizations. I do encourage parents to read other arguments and do their research. I've listed some sources below. Read, listen, and what you do with the knowledge and how you let this new information influence your decisions is up to you.

In the U.S., I know that certain states will make vaccination mandatory. And in both the U.S. and Canada, certain groups (such as health care workers) will be required to be vaccinated. As well, pregnant women and young children are encouraged to get vaccinated as soon as possible. As an expecting mom, I am thankful that I live in Canada. But still, you never know. I hope and pray that H1N1 vaccination does not become mandatory.

What's your opinion? Will you vaccinate yourself or your children?

ARGUMENTS FOR THE VACCINE:

Interview with Dr. Ann Schuchat from the CDC
Chief Science Officer Dr. Anne Schuchat answers parents’ questions about the 2009 H1N1 flu and the vaccine to protect against it. Children aged six months through 24 years are recommended to receive H1N1 flu vaccine.

This mother posted some info she found on the CDC and from my pediatrician.

ARGUMENTS AGAINST TAKING THE VACCINE:

What To Do if You are Forced to Take Swine Flu Shot
Interviews with Dr. Russell Blaylock, a retired neurosurgeon who speaks of the dangers of the H1N1 vaccine.

Warning: Swine Flu Shot Linked to Killer Nerve Disease
In this article: A warning that the swine flu vaccine has been linked to a deadly nerve disease has been sent by the UK Government to senior neurologists in a confidential letter.

The letter refers to the use of a similar swine flu vaccine in the United States in 1976 when:

More people died from the vaccination than from swine flu
The vaccine may have increased the risk of contracting GBS by eight times
The vaccine was withdrawn after just ten weeks when the link with GBS became clear
The U.S. Government was forced to pay out millions of dollars to those affected

Concerns have already been raised that the new vaccine has not been sufficiently tested and that the effects, especially on children, are unknown.

Flu Vaccine Exposed
Perspective: Studies show that flu vaccines are unsafe and ineffective.
This presentation by the Thinktwice Global Vaccine Institute includes a visual depiction of flu vaccine production -- how the flu vaccine is made and what it contains.

Another Shocking Warning About Swine Flu Vaccine

Many Health Workers Won't Take Swine Flu Vaccine

Preggy and Limited in Shopping Fun

2009-09-17T11:02:00.002-04:00

The Working Mama is expecting! I'm excited, tired, relieved, happy, nervous (but more happy)... all at once. My pregnancy has been quite eventful, but more on that later.

I am perusing this week's newsletters and flyers in my inbox and among these are several e-mails from a few of my favourite retailers sending out their periodic "secret sale" specials. GROAN! I can't make use of any of them as I am in maternity clothing mode these days so I've been passing them on to friends. Here are some of the coupons I received:

From Banana Republic: Secret Sale - 40% off on all full-priced merchandise!! I loove BR. If they had a maternity department, I bet the clothes would be fabulous!

From GAP: Additional 25% off on sale merchandise! I suppose I could have used this but these sales are limited and I don't have a GAP Maternity Store near work.

From RW&Co.: 20% off the last ticketed price. SIGH....

I'm waiting on a special secret sale invitation from Thyme Maternity or Motherhood. Yeah, right.

Let's go blog-hopping!

2009-03-06T21:56:00.010-05:00

It's Friday. Thank god! It's also the start of the VGNO-- Virtual Girls Night Out (although I hear boys are welcome).

VGNO, what's that? Well, from Ann Harrison from the Mom Bloggers Club, and author of Ann Again...and again started it. From Ann:

The Virtual Girls Night Out a fun way to let others know of your blog and it's a great way to meet other wonderful bloggers as well.

This is our Virtual Girls Night Out (boys welcome too). Our social party without having to get out of our footie p.j.'s. We're here to blog-hop and play. The Virtual GNO is your chance to hang out with blog friends and hopefully make some new friends as well!

How do you join? Click the image to start.

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!

What kind of mommy blogger are you?

2009-03-02T21:28:00.001-05:00

Check out this article on mashable.com about the "Top Ten Misconceptions About Mommy Bloggers" -

http://mashable.com/2009/01/16/mom-blogger-misconceptions/

My Family Day Comedy of Errors

2009-02-18T10:08:00.006-05:00

I didn't have any particularly big plans for Family Day. But I did want to take Naomi to the Markham Museum Children's Winter Carniva l. It was a simple enough plan, get up early (well, we're always up early anyway because my little one wakes up between 6 and 7), have breakfast, and then leave. Be at the carnival by 10 or 10:30, maybe have some pancakes at the pancake breakfast if we weren't late for it, and then on to activities. Wagon rides, a lounge full of toys, watching older kids ice skate-- sounds fun, right?

We found ourselves still home at 10:50. But at least, we are rushing out the door, with snacks for us and Naomi's lunch packed. Then Isak, my husband says, "Maybe we should eat first". And I'm like, "No, it'll be nap time soon." I give in with much reservation only because I thought maybe it would indeed be better if she ate lunch at home rather than at the carnival.

So I fed Naomi quickly and we scarfed down some sandwiches. And then we rushed out.

The carnival is about 15 minutes away from our home. Directions are really simple. It's a no-brainer. We get to the main intersection where the carnival is located. And then we take a wrong turn.

For crying out loud. I did look at Google maps quickly but didn't retain any information (hey, I'm a mom with other things on my mind). I assumed Isak took note. But I guess not.

We finally get back on track. We get to the carnival, and we suddenly feel so lucky because we get the one remaining parking spot.

Excitedly, I turn to Naomi to say "We're here!". She's asleep.

AAAAARRRGH!

I was so mad at the whole situation. (and at Isak, well, because I had to blame someone for the delays.) We play the blame game for a while on the way home. It's my fault because I took too long to get ready. It's his fault because he decided we should eat first.

By the time I we arrived back home, I was calm, though still a bit disappointed, after my dear husband convinced me that all Naomi really cares about is to be with mommy and she won't miss the carnival. SIGH... I guess it's true. But it was a bit of a let down anyway. On the upside, she slept for more than 2 hours and we got to relax.

Sometime in the afternoon, the three of us went for a walk. It was a beautiful sunny day (for a winter day, it was). We strolled through a park with a pond and watched the ducks. We also discovered a path we didn't know existed. It was perfect. Well, almost. :-)

Daycare or nanny? Daycare or nanny? Daycare or...

2009-02-17T23:46:00.008-05:00

Dedicated one-on-one attention
No need to wake baby up at an ungodly hour every morning
No rushing to drop-off baby
No rushing to pick up baby (and get stressed in traffic). Did you know that daycare fines for being late are $1.00 a minute?!
Baby is in a comfortable and familiar environment from the beginning. Less transitioning needed.
Extra help with caring for baby (ahhh.... maybe we can eat dinner in peace)
Visions of a super tidy house and dinner waiting came to mind. (Of course there's no guarantee nanny will do all that.)

NANNY (CONS):

Potentially quite expensive (“potentially” because the fees of certain daycares are shockingly expensive too)
Would require us finishing the basement of our home (sounds like a lot of money and work but we were prepared for this option)
Not enough social interaction - this is a really big deal to me
No stimulating activities (Maybe Nanny will be boring and Naomi will end up watching T.V. all day.)
Nanny could be serial killer (I get really paranoid when it comes to my child!)
But seriously, how do I know if the nanny is hurting or being mean to my child?? I don’t want to have to put nanny cams everywhere. And do I really want to live like that where I can’t trust my caregiver? This was a drawback I couldn’t get over.

DAYCARE (CONS)

Well, opposite of all of the above pros for the Nanny option. Also:
People tell me kids in daycare get sick more often (unfortunately, for the first 2 months, this was true)
Potential neglect due to lack of staff (The daycare we eventually decided on bragged about always having extra staff. And you know what, it seemed Naomi got extra attention on the days she needed it.)

DAYCARE (PROS)

Lots of fun activities including circle time with songs and reading, arts and crafts (yes, they do it for infants), indoor and outdoor play, and various other programs
Will learn to be more independent and become comfortable with another caregiver other than mommy (At the time, I really, really hoped this would be true.☺)
Social interaction with other kids. It drives me crazy when people tell me that young children (under two or three) don’t need to interact with other children. Okay, so a child may turn out “ok” being alone at home but believe me, children do benefit from playing and being around other kids their own age! It would take another blog post for me to list all the benefits (maybe another time) but don’t take my word for it—do your research.

Well… it is a bit hectic in the mornings. But Isak (my husband) has flexible hours so he doesn’t have to be at work by 9am sharp. Not even 10am, actually.
Naomi is not woken up at an ungodly hour— she wakes us up earlier than we would like ☺.
Yes, transitioning week was hell. I cried. But we all got through it.
I don’t have to kill myself trying to make it home by 6pm because mom-in-law picks up Naomi between 4 and 5pm (HUGE help).

And what about visions of a super-tidy house? Well, that still remains just a vision.

That's quite a dress, Mama!

2009-02-11T22:27:00.003-05:00

I did not watch the Grammys but saw this picture in the Daily Babble. Oh, my goodness!
Not sure if I can see myself in such an outfit.

Click on this link for more info: http://babble.com/CS/blogs/droolicious/archive/2009/02/09/star-mom-m-i-a-s-grammy-dress-pregnant-polka-dots.aspx

Give Me Shelter - Fundraising Event for Sandgate Women's Shelter

2009-02-02T15:35:00.009-05:00

I give to a variety of charities but women's shelters have always been at the top of my list. I would have loved to attend this fundraiser but can't. I hope to find a way to drop off some used toys as this on their wish list.

=========================================

The Richmond Hill Women’s Networking Association is sponsoring a fundraising event on Tues., Feb. 3rd in support of Sandgate Women’s Shelter.

Name for event — Give Me Shelter (inspired by the song Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones)

Our members have embraced the new shelter which is scheduled to open on April 1st, 2009 in Richmond Hill. Members of our Association have donated products and/or services for door prizes as well as items for a silent auction. Funds raised will be donated to Sandgate Women’s Shelter.

Light refreshments including tea and coffee generously donated by Delmanor Elgin Mills.

Where — Delmanor Elgin Mills.
Address — 80 Elgin Mills Ave. E.
Location — 1 stoplight east of Yonge Street on the north side of Elgin Mills Road East
When — Tuesday, Feb. 3rd, 2009 from 7pm - 8:30pm
Why — Sandgate Women’s Shelter is establishing a new Residence in Richmond Hill
Entry fee — FREE

Everyone is invited
Members of the public are encouraged to bring women’s grooming kits, gently used toys and/or books.

For additional information contact Josephine Vaccaro-Chang, Founder & President of The Richmond Hill Women’s Networking Association at 905-780-9855.

Payment for door prizes and silent auction items by cash or cheque.

Example of door prizes and silent auction items:

- One hour of de-cluttering
- Two hours of life coaching
- Collection of healthy chocolate truffles
- 1 1/2 hours of design consultation
- 2 hours of financial planning
- 3 hours of senior or child care

At a recent meeting of The Richmond Hill Women’s Networking Association Pamela Novak of Sandgate’s Board of Directors publicly thanked the members of the Association for welcoming the shelter to Richmond Hill.

For more information about Sandgate Women’s Shelter go to www.sandgate.ca

Looking back with no regrets

2009-01-30T00:27:00.013-05:00

The other week, I got a call from Naomi's daycare. They wanted permission to move her to the "older kids room". Older kids? My little one is an "older kid"?? When did that happen? I was a bit taken aback, but after a few seconds, gave the careprovider my blessing: Yes, you may move Naomi to the older kids room.

Naomi had just turned 17 turned months. Wasn't she still an infant? And therefore, didn't that mean she was supposed to be in the "Infant Room" until I-- I mean until she was ready? Well, she's walking, talking, often feeding herself, throwing tantrums... ... she's a toddler!

At Naomi's daycare, when infants transition to the next stage (e.g. when they move to the Toddler Room), the caregivers move with the children in their care. Isn't that amazing? No, you don't get it? Well, when I was first told about this concept, I understood the benefits but didn't fully realize it until I started hearing stories about difficult transitions from my mommy friends. Their kids would get so attached to the caregiver that when it came time to move to a different room, they experienced separation anxiety, and cried, and threw fits.

Naomi did not have to experience the same thing-- thank god! Transitioning her at daycare was traumatic enough.

So there you go. My little one is all grown up :-) Where did the time go?
I ask this question every two months it seems. I asked myself this when she learned to sit up, when she started babbling, when she started crawling, especially when she started walking, and at every developmental milestone. I ask myself the same question everytime I put away clothes that no longer fit her. When Naomi turned one, I was astounded and said "Has it really been a year?". It seems she just turned a year yesterday and yet she's already in the older kids room.

I ask "Where did the time go?", and get all sentimental, yet I have no regrets. I may be in awe at how time flew but I do know where time went. My work schedule leaves little room for family time but I know I make time to be with her. I make mental notes of her physical and emotional achievements; I pay close attention to how this toddler is developing into a little person.

Hopefully, in five, ten years, I can look back and still feel the same way.

A poem for the new year

2009-01-21T12:19:00.001-05:00

How is the new year unfolding for you so far? If you made resolutions, are you sticking to them? If you got sidetracked, did you recover? Has the new year brought good news? Bad news? If you're a parent, are you spending quality moments with your children? And if you're a working parent, how are you balancing your career with your home life, and personal life? I hope you are not feeling guilty (or feeling less guilty) but instead, striving to find ways to make the short moments with your child really memorable for the both of you. And when you're with your child, do try your best to be in the moment, to be truly present and undistracted, and simply enjoy each other's company.

The following poem, by Amanda Cater, is one of my favourites, and was read at Naomi's baby naming. It's a good reminder of how we should raise our children.

If a child

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.
-- Amanda Cater

Today, we are filled with hope

2009-01-20T23:53:00.001-05:00

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
-- President Barack Obama

Today, Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. I was at work, and I watched some of it on CNN online. I saw friends online through Facebook Connect, throwing in a few comments, but silent for the most part, as they watched a historical moment unfold. Many of my coworkers were tuned in as well, glued to their computer screens tuned to CNN with headphones on.

It's a great day, full of hope and new beginnings.

Did you find the Motrin ad offensive?

2008-11-24T15:47:00.000-05:00

"Consumer healthcare giant Johnson & Johnson (offended moms) with a recent Web video ad for its Motrin painkiller. While apparently trying to be irreverent about the pain of wearing a baby in a sling, the ad offended many mothers who savaged it on Twitter, the wildly popular "micro-blogging" site where users communicate with short "tweets" of 140 characters or less. J&J was forced to apologize on Monday."

Here is the video on YouTube. Do you find it offensive?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO6SlTUBA38

Globe and Mail article: This article discusses whether Motrin made the right decision in pulling the ad.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081120.wgtweb21/BNStory/Technology/home

I actually never saw the ad until the news that J&J pulled it. I wasn't offended. But I was taken aback, maybe a little irritated. Not even sure if I was amused.

I took (and still do) babywearing seriously. I didn't put my baby in a sling/carrier because it was fashionable. I didn't even do it because I believed it was the best thing for baby. It was really more about "Okay, how the hell can I do stuff around the house without leaving baby to cry incessantly?" My first thought upon seeing the ad on YouTube was "How can they trivialize the whole babywearing thing like that and make it seem like a silly thing? Couldn't they pick something else?" And "They don't get it." I felt like the fictional character (portrayed by the voiceover) was not representative of most moms. That was my initial reaction.

I wasn't so offended that I would have launched a protest. I probably would have forgotten about it the next day. In fact if not for writing this post, I already have :-) The reaction of moms and the consequent actions of J&J are more fascinating to me than the ad itself.

How about you? Were you offended?

The very first post-- at last!

2008-11-24T15:19:00.001-05:00

I am a new mom. Well, a first time mom. I don't feel like such a new mom anymore as my precious little girl, Naomi, is now 15 months. But as she's my first, every developmental stage she enters is new territory to me as well, a learning adventure. I may now be able to advice a new mom with a newborn about breastfeeding, take for granted the differences among strollers and car seats, but ask me for a definitive answer about how many words my toddler should know by now, or if they should be in daycare or a real school, well... my head spins.

I'm also a working mom, a 9-5er (or sometimes longer although, I try not to avoid this as much as I can). I work for an Internet communications firm and I really like my job. After being on mat leave for a year and two weeks, I realized I missed some of the aspects my work (*some* being the key word).

It's terribly challenging to be a working mom, especially if you're in a job with inflexible hours, in a fast-paced industry, competing in a male-dominated field.... oh, the list goes on. I wasn't naive; I knew long before I went back to work, it would be difficult. And even with those expectations, it's been more difficult than I imagined. So, for the life of me, I don't know why I decided to create a working moms blog.

Oh, the craziness
Two months before I went back to work, I thought that I'd love to write about being a working mom. It will be like the journal I never write, a way to share experiences and advice with other working moms, a means of connecting with other mommy bloggers, and well, other romanticized reasons.

Well, many ideas, experiences, and unwritten stories later (five months to be exact), I have yet to publish my first post. My excuse? The following leave me no time for anything else-- my child, home, family, -- working moms, you know the list.

So, hallelujah! Here we go-- my first post!